and she was petting her beer can
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
