im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
