I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
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