I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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