Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
