I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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