He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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