If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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