hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
A+ Viking dick
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
