didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
