So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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