Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Bring me that man meat
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
