If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize