I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
