Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
