Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
