I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You can't special order awesome
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
