im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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