and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
