i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
