I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
