Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
