i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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