I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
