I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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