My Higher Power is John Stamos
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
