you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize