is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
