And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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