Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
