The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
