i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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