she was so not down for the gang bang
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
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I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
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hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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