sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
