New low: just hacked my moms facebook
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
