Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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