Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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