East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
