you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
