what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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