He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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