New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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