And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
