I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
