can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
