Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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