We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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