Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.