so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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