Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
