i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
