come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
