hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize