found the other keg... it's in the tree
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
