I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Can I color on your dick again?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
