i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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