There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
