You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize