sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
